10 Perks of My Child Free Vacation

Little Aussie

Next month, something completely unprecedented is happening. I am going on vacation. ALONE.

Well, not actually alone-alone. I’m meeting two of my dearest friends from college in Greece. Amazing, right? I know! We currently live on three different continents, and going on vacation together is something we’ve dreamed about for probably a decade. And, I feel like I have pulled the world’s greatest hat trick – getting Dad to agree to watch our gorgeous daughter for the week (it should be said the my mensch of a husband never thought for a second about not doing this for me – he’s a keeper). So, when I say, I’m going on vacation “alone,” what I mean is toddler-free.

I go on the occasional dinner or brunch without her, but up to this point, I’ve never left her overnight, let alone for multiple nights. The thought fills me with equal parts excitement for the trip and fear/sadness about missing my sweet little shadow. I know that by the end of the trip, all I’m going to want to do is see her beaming face, listen to her chatter, and hold her for about one hundred hours, but truth be told, there are a few things that I’m looking forward to about having a bit of “alone” time:

1. Sleeping until I wake up. Naturally. Un-beckoned by sudden and urgent summons from the next room at some hilarious hour of the pre-dawn.

2. Not feeling panic and doom if I stay up past 10p.m. Because #1.

3. Talking to adults without having to pause mid-sentence every 3.7 minutes to tell my child “far enough,” wiping up something she spilled all over the table, or urging her to “share.”

4. Not changing a single diaper. My own personal “matters” are the only ones I plan on attending to on this trip.

5. And while we’re at it – going to the bathroom alone. I realize that’s such a parenting cliché to say, but why is it like her job to follow me into the bathroom. A bomb couldn’t make her look up from Peppa Pig, but if I say, “I’m going to the bathroom.” … “I come, too!,” she chirps, as if I’d just offered her a bag of Easter chocolate, instead of the uninvited opportunity to watch me squat. She stands right in front of me, toe to toe. Sometimes she asks to sit on my lap (no). Or, she gives me a running commentary on the proceedings. “Mama bathroom. Mama paper. Mama flush. Mama wash hands. All done.” I trust that my girlfriends are not going to do any of these things when I dash off to the loo.

6. Showering in a space without toys on the floor. This is an actual photo of my shower right now. Hate to break it to you, rubber ducks, but your passports have not been authorized for European travel.

7. Eating at the same time as everyone else. Oh, we always sit down at the same time, but once I’ve served the child, cut the meal into appropriate pieces, gotten back up because I forgot her drink, found her water bottle in the toy baby pram (naturally), and then served myself, mealtime is well underway for the other concerned parties by the time I take my first bite. I vaguely remember eating with everyone else.

8. Eating cheese and chocolate out in the open. While there’s a certain thrill to shoveling in clandestine bites of forbidden food while your kid is looking askance at a bowl of carrot sticks in the other room, when in Greece, I plan to eat cheese in the public square and unwrap my chocolate with as much noisy panache as possible.

9. Carrying a purse smaller than a microwave that doesn’t contain diapers, rice crackers, leaking water bottles or plastic dinosaurs. But, I’m keeping the baby wipes. Those things a darn handy.

10. Walking around the block in less than 45 minutes and without collecting 7 sticks, 11 dandelions, a broken balloon, and a cupped handful of rocks (honestly, it’s no wonder than damn diaper bag is so heavy!). IMG_5213

*11. Oh, and also, you know, seeing Greece, spending time with two of my favorite people on earth, talking until 3a.m., eating all the feta and olives, sitting on the beach, shopping, watching the sunset, and drinking lots of wine together. Definite honorable mentions – as long as they don’t try to follow me into the bathroom.

6 thoughts on “10 Perks of My Child Free Vacation

    1. Cristin Post author

      I know! 6:30 is a sleep-in here, and somehow that seems a little off. 😉 Thanks, and looking forward to it!

  1. Hugzilla

    Yes! I’ve just had 3 days away on my own at a conference and point number one. Oh my god…. POINT NUMBER ONE! I could relate to so many of these.

    1. Cristin Post author

      It’s really fun to dream about going ANYWHERE when you’re spread all over the world! I really can’t wait.

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